Today is the second day of change adjustment. I'm trying to stay me or be me or figure out just who in the hell me is. We've both changed. in some ways for the best. Im proud of our accomplishments. in some ways, for the worst. harboring bad feelings and holding onto this ghost relationship Ive had in my head. I'm in love with him, yes. is it more for what he was then what he is now? I don't think so... we've changed and grown as adults and turned our worlds upside down. this time to regroup might be the best thing in the world. if he doesn't know who he is, and i don't know who I am.. then how will we ever know what we are together and seperately. we're seemingly intermeshed to the point of scary codependence? well, thats both our issues.. and i think there could be a way to work this out without breaking up. but the tension has gotten so high and the pressure on Tony. and i'm at my tip top with crazy thinking.. "if i only.... "if I stay this way... "if the house looks like...
I really hope this works out, for both our sakes.